Super powered teens tour Assembly of Power

"So how many of you are thinking of applying to the Assembly of Power for our summer internship? Hands shot up, of course they did. Who doesn't dream of joining the AoP?"
"Mr. Steve, why are you narrating this?"
"Please hold all questions until the end of the tour."
"Why just the other day that nice, old man that stand on the corner down the street, drinking his cup of money, was telling me that when he was a child The Original Roman would encourage people to buy war bonds, and all his friends had lunch boxes featuring Muscles Maximum. Apparently the children of his generation had to walk through the snow to get to diabolical schools which would change their altitude depending on whether you were coming or going. And in those days you could find pictures of The Fist of Liberty drawn on everything from automobile repairshop walls, to fighter planes, which were for some reason doing battle with sauerkraut."
"Sir, I believe that man is homeless, and embellishing his childhood. Also they weren't doing battle with sauerkraut, that's just a derogitory name for the Germans."
"Why young man, if that nice old man were homeless how could he afford to drink money? And why would a nice man be mean to the Germans? He wouldn't, he's nice."
"But..."
"Moving on!"
Steve lead the students through a plain looking door leading off of the main lobby. Then back and through the double doors next to them. "I actually don't spend much time on this floor." He explained.
It seemed like a plain metal hallway but the technopaths could sense the instruments in the walls scanning them for any dangerous objects. At the end of the hallway was an unarmed man and woman guarding the door. The woman started to concentrate more upon seeing Steve, the man just started to fidget nervously.
"How's guard duty treating you Carmichael? You keeping that retina scanner warm for me?" Steve let out a mighty laugh patting Carmichael on the shoulder, and turned to the woman who was still keenly trying to discern something about Steve. "And you're new here aren't you Macelroy? I hope you enjoy working here as much as I do."
General murmurings were going through the croud. Nobody could figure out just what was going on. One of the telepaths in the back was telling his friends "I think she's trying to reach a deeper level of Steve's consciousness. All I've been able to get from his surface thoughts is him playing a doubles tennis with himself, against himself. Every time he wins he just tells himself that Wimbledon lasts a fortnight."
"I don't think there is a deeper level." Countered the girl in front of him. "That man Carmichael there seems to have been scanning Steve for a while now, and he still doesn't know what to make of him. Plus do you hear that music in Steve's head? I think that's the Aria from Madame Butterfly."
"Just sounded like elevator music to me." The guy shrugged.
"You guys are in for a real treat!" Informed Steve once he had finished the scan and the massive metal doors had opened. "This is the room where the guys do their magic that tells us where to go to fight bad guys."
"Actually it's just a dispatch center. They answer calls and sort them by severity and location, this is run through the computers to find out who's the nearest available super hero of an appropriate level to combat the problem. As you can see the phones are color coded by the importance of the caller: White is for the hotline, orange is for city mayors, red is state senators, and black is for world leaders. In addition along the back wall you can see the various communication devices that other planets have left in case they need to call for help."
"Wow! That was impressive. What's your name?"
"Leonard, but everyone just calls me..."
"Well how'd you like to be my deputy tour guide Leonard? Fantastic!" Steve finished before Leonard had a chance to reply. "Now can you tell the us about those status board thingies up front?"
"Well it's just a simple heads up display to show what area's are being attacked, the last known location of the attacker, and the current location of the hero assigned to the task. It's there so supervisors can keep an eye on the overall picture in case they need upgrade the threat level." To most of the students, excepting of course the higher level tacticians and super geniuses, it was a giant mess. Anyone not used to working there would get as much use out of a Jackson Pollock.
"That sounds pretty magical to me." Steve said earnestly.
"It's just computers, just ask..." Leonard started to gesture towards the technopaths and noticed several of them were ill.
"What's wrong with them?" Steve asked noticing them as well.
"They're just a bit overloaded with all the data that's zipping around this place it takes a higher skill level to make sense of it, and they didn't have enough time to shield their mind." An unaffected technopath informed him.
"Oh, oops, well then let's move on. Next stop legal department."
The tour took them to the end of the dispatch center and through a small single doorway. Walking through the linoleum hallway with the flourescent bulbs flickering overhead you could almost forget you were at the headquarters of the largest superhero group on the planet. Upon Reaching a T in the hallway Steve stopped the group and pointed down the hallway to the left.
"Down there is the coffee room for the legal department. They have a couple pots of coffee, a water cooler," With that he looked at the highschoolers knowingly, "and an assortment of donuts and pastries. Now the important thing to know about this, is that even though everything is laid out in the open, they will get very mad at you if you eat all the donuts and drink a pot of coffee by yourself. And before you get any ideas it doesn't matter if you've just returned from an important mission or not, those are for everybody not you or me. ONWARD!" Steve shouted. With that they proceeded down the hallway to the left into the legal department, where Steve was met with a chorus of groans from the nearest attorneys.
"Hi friends, just leading these fresh faced youngsters on a tour of our fine facilities." Turning back to the students he continued, "This places is where the lawyer people like to come and hang out as they prepare to do battle against the evil lawyers in the service of the nefarious individuals we apprehend. Did I miss anything deputy?" He asked turning toward Leonard, eyes wide with anticipation.
"Well prosecuting supervillains is only a small part of what they do. They also deal with the constant, and ongoing cases of property damage in the course of everyday battles."
"The real happiness isn't in possesions, sometimes you need to learn to let go of your car" Steve asked.
"Putting that aside, the bulk of the work here is making sure that the AoP stays up to date with all laws, foreign, domestic, interplanetary and transgalactic, so as to respect the customs of those they save. With the shear ammount of bureaucracy with just our own star system, it's a wonder they have time for anything else."
"I wondered why some of them slept here, I figured it was out of a healthy love of JUSTICE!" Steve couldn't help but scream that last word. The attorneys, while surprised by the outburst, didn't seem at all shocked, with most of them returning to work with nary a "tsk." The teens however, were now following him one step farther behind as he lead them accross the room, and down another hallway to...
"The public relations department. I love these guys, they sometimes write down my speeches for me, freeing my mind up to worry about more important things, like why there are still colleges where evil students can earn degrees in evil science, evil medicine, and evil art."
"The main job of the PR Department is to minimize the fallout of public opinion after large scale attacks that lead to major property damage. They do this by organizing press conferences and writing speeches, news announcements, and commercials that make the heroes appear more noble and sympathetic. Downplaying the acts of the hero and highlighting damage done by the villain."
Steve was visibly shocked. "WHY LEONARD! I can't believe you would say such a thing. Do you really think that anybody working for the greatest super hero team in the world would ever do anything so... dishonest? Shame on you for spreading such mean rumors." Steve looked around  to see if anybody else had heard it, there were several people in earshot, but they were going about there work smiling, obviously unaware of the vicious slander some people believed. One man however was standing right behind Steve, trying hard to hold in his emotions. "I'm sorry you had to hear that Phil."
Choking back what Steve assumed were tears, but everyone else felt was probably laughter, Phil quickly thanked Steve for his concern and hurried back to his desk.
"That man went to journalism school, and holds a major in broadcast. He's dedicated to the truth, not manipulating the opinions of hard working civilians."
"I'm... sorry?" Leonard squeeked with a slight raise in pitch at the end as if it were a question.
"Just remember, these are hardworking people in this building, no different from you or I, except they don't get to punch those that do wrong. And spreading rumors is never a good habit."
"You're right, maybe we should just move on to accounting."
"How'd you know accounting was next?" Steve asked, impressed enough to forget the incident.
"Well it's the next place along these cooridors, so either we're going there, or we're going to double back through the dispatch center. Accounting seemed more likely."
"And how is it you know this place so well? I've been working here 3 years and I just recently found out some of these other heroes actually expect money for doing what's right. Not only that  but they apparently want a regular ammount on a steady basis, whether they fight crime or just go on patrols. Now I understand that some heroes, especially those that have houses to pay for and such, need some money for travel expenses, and as a cumulative contribution towards the costs of training, and food, and as such they have a rate system where they may charge based on the difficulty of the task, and any repair or reagent costs. My buddy Chesterwick works for 'commision', which is apparently just fine." Steve said "commision" as if it were some foreign word for a concept that doesn't exist in English.
"I've heard of those types of heroes as well," Leonard said, "As for how I know the layout of this place, I've been studying to get here since I was a kid. That and there was a map in the lobby."
"There's another map in the brochures they gave us this morning." Came a voice in back.
"Ah, I see. Well then, onward to accounting." As Steve lead them along the route to accounting, he made sure to point out broom cupboards of apparent import.
"This is accounting." Steve welcomed. "This place exists because some heroes actually expect money for doing right. Not only that..."
"You've said this part already." Offered a teen up front.
"Ah yes, so I have. Well another, less morally gray, purpose of this place is fundings for missions. If you break something you just need to come here and fill out 5T-3V.3 form, and they'll pay to have it fixed or replaced." With this there were a few snickers from the croud. "No joke, they will totally pay for it for you. That is if you're a member of the Assembly of Power. I think that's it."
"Actually this place also keeps track of various charitable contributions from individuals and corporations. These contributions, along with the merchandising, are the cornerstone of how the AoP funds it's work."
"Speaking of merchadising, our next stop is the marketing department. Unless I've forgetten anything else."
"Other than the mystery of the regular contributions of a large company in Sandusky, Ohio I can't think of anything of note in accounting."
"Well then on with the tour." With that Steve lead them through some more linoleum hallways, at this point most of the kids had forgoten that they were touring someplace impressive. Finally they arrived at their destination.
These are the guys who don't feel there's enough of a demand to warrant a line of Steve bed sheets. Who wouldn't feel safer at night, going to bed wrapped in a big blanket of me?"
"Actually that's not our department." Said an artist, looking up from her story boards. "We here to design the advertising used to market the products. If you have an idea for a product you should take it to the head of merchandising up on the fifth floor."
"Well thank you Kim, I was just chatting with Sam two weeks ago about my bed sheet idea and he said he'd work on it."
"Sam? You mean the temp?"
"Well with his work ethic I"m not surprised he didn't last."
"No a temp is somebody you hire to fill a job for a short ammount of time."
"Oh, I thought it was somebody that wasn't at a job long because they made promises they couldn't keep. Well thank you again. You are just so helpful, if you're not to busy could you tell these students what it is you do here."
"Sure, my job is primarily as a storyboard artist. I draw the progression of events to help convey how the commercial will go. This helps our script, and jingle writers visualize how the final product will look."
"And what is the primary purpose of the department?"
"Well we decide how best to convey a product or sometimes even the Assembly of Power itself, to people, to increase sales and awareness of products."
"Fantastic, thank you for your time Kim."
"Not at all Steve."
"Next, we get to see the elevators, on our way to the labratories." That got some excited chatter. Finally they were going to see some real superhero stuff.